S/O: Question for those who chose to not find out genders

Discussion in 'Pregnancy Help' started by monica77, Apr 15, 2013.

  1. monica77

    monica77 Well-Known Member

    I was reading the thread about not finding out genders and I have a question for those who chose not to find out genders. We found out the genders, both of us were determined to find out.

    My question to those who didn't want to find out is: "Why do you think it's better to have a surprise at birth as opposed to have a surprise when you find out?" It is a surprise when you find out from an ultrasound also, at least it was a great surprise to us, we just wanted to find out because we were (VERY) curious and excited - we would have been very happy with either combination.
  2. MNTwinSquared

    MNTwinSquared Well-Known Member

    My guess is that at least you're somewhat prepared at birth when your surprise is halfway through the pregnancy. We found out but I was on the fence. DH did not want a surprise at the end. My brother and his wife do not find out with theirs. For me it is hard to 'shop' for them. I literally made two tie blankets (one girl, one boy) with their first.
  3. Danibell

    Danibell Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I'm curious about the answer to this too. I always see the response "We wanted it to be a surprise!" But, it's still a surprise at the ultrasound too ;) You just get to find out the surprise a few months earlier than at the birth ;) It's not like I walked into any of my ultrasounds knowing what we were going to be having until the dr or tech told me ;)
  4. FGMH

    FGMH Well-Known Member

    The main reason is emotional: I just did not want to know everything modern technology allows me to know (although I gladly accepted modern technology to monitor the babies's safety). Old-fashioned? Fear of a loss being even worse if we had already named them? I don't really know but it was a strong feeling and I tended to listen to my feelings for most things pregnancy-related.

    The practical advantage was that we did not want to be "pestered" by everyone about genders and potential names. We preferred to say - truthfully - that we do not know and will not find out and would prefer neutral colours for gifts anyway.
  5. Katheros

    Katheros Well-Known Member

    When I first found out I was pregnant, I didn't want to find out the gender. I wanted that surprise at the end, the emotional surprise. I like the idea of just doing it the old fashioned way, too. My parents didn't know what me and my brothers were before we were born. When I found out I was having twins I thought "well that's enough of a surprise" and eventually found out their gender. For twins, I wanted to be as prepared as I could be.

    When I got pregnant with my third, I did not want to know. I already had two so there wasn't anything I couldn't handle as far as planning, etc. Part of me still wanted to have that emotional surprise at birth with my husband there, part of me just didn't want to know it was another boy. I did find out because my husband wanted to but he wasn't there at the ultrasound so it was just.. anticlimactic. There was no excitement or emotion. It was me in a room with a stranger pushing a wand on my stomach. It was so clinical.

    We are thinking about going for a fourth (THINK PINK PEOPLE) and I don't want to find out the gender. This will be my last shot at the surprise birth.
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  6. tinalb

    tinalb Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Yes, this was definitely an advantage to not knowing.

    Our hospital here will not give that information from an ultrasound, so without paying for a private ultrasound we had no way of finding out. But, I have to say with my first 3, I wouldn't have chosen to find out ahead of time anyway. There was just something about the suspense of it all that appealed to me. The waiting & the suspense are part of the fun. Sort of like Christmas, I guess. Sure, it is a surprise when you find out at the ultrasound, but nothing quite like actually giving birth, hearing the baby cry, and waiting for the doctor to say if it is a boy or girl.
  7. MrsWright

    MrsWright Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    We didn't find out for the twins or my daughter. I just think the delivery seems so much more suspenseful, not to mention my DH felt like more a part of it with announcing "it's a boy! X2" and "it's a girl", rather than she's here!

    I guess it wa just personal preference, I always want to know what other people are having just not myself;)
    1 person likes this.
  8. rayceryin12

    rayceryin12 Well-Known Member

    Our first was a surprise. It was an awesome feeling birthing the baby and finding out right then in the moment!
  9. 3under2!

    3under2! Well-Known Member

    For me, it's kind of like unwrapping a present when you already know what it is. Just kind of---lame feeling lol. We found out with my ODD and then wished we hadn't. We were also kind of hoping for a boy and when we found out she was girl we had a twinge of dissappointment that wasn't there when the twins came out and were both girls (we didn't find out with them, even though it nearly killed us lol). I think finding out when the baby is born and you have a real live baby to attach to the gender prevents any possible dissapointment, if that makes any sense.
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