So long, regular naps....

Discussion in 'The Toddler Years(1-3)' started by BubbleDragon, Sep 20, 2012.

  1. BubbleDragon

    BubbleDragon Well-Known Member

    Well, over the past two weeks, the boys may have napped in their beds 3 times. A few times they were disasters and I stuffed them in the car to salvage a car nap, but I can't keep that up. They still need the rest, because they're like nasty floppy walking zombies the nights they don't nap - even worse than nights on regular days (which is nearly unbearable as it is.) If they do nap, it's long. Like 1-4pm long. So when they don't nap at all, it's a lot of sleep lost.

    Daddy doesn't get home until 6:15 at the earliest, and bringing bedtime any earlier than 7:30 is simply impossible. They need at least some time with their dad at night, and I won't budge on that. Right now, daddy likes to get out of the house at night and sometimes bedtime even creeps up to 9:30 or so, but if I have to, I can scale that back. (Honestly... the getting out of the house is often in response to the no-nap, cooped up monsters, though.) I can *try* to get them dinner before he gets home instead of as soon as he gets home, but when they don't nap and are crabby fighting and hurting each other, dinner becomes even harder than usual.

    "Quiet" time seems impossible to enforce, as any "step in" or "correction" by me just spirals and spirals until there is no hope of either quiet or the elusive "quiet time nap" that other parents seem to experience. I'm working on making an hour long music playlist that might help give them some sort of routine to the matter.

    They are in the same room, and ramp each other up, but there is no where else I can split them up. The baby naps (or at least tries to) in her room at the same time and our bed(room) is in a den with no door, and doesn't work as a place to enforce quiet/nap time.

    What are you supposed to do with unnapped toddlers/preschoolers until bedtime?! I hate hate hate putting on TV, but somedays zoning them out is the only way to keep them from hurting each other! AAAAAhhhh.
  2. Fran27

    Fran27 Well-Known Member

    I was in the exact same situation. We got rid of naps maybe 2 months after their second birthday, and I had no choice but to give them dinner at 5.30pm and put them in bed at 6.30pm. Some days they didn't even see their dad, but they needed the extra sleep or I would have dealt with two little monsters. But honestly, giving them an early dinner helped a lot to calm them down. Even now, when they're crabby and complain that they are hungry, I'll just give them dinner early, and it puts them in a much better mood until bedtime. But yes, if they miss out on a 3h nap, they'll need to catch up the sleep somewhere.

    And yes we did a lot of tv time after lunch!
  3. mama_dragon

    mama_dragon Well-Known Member

    My boys gave up napping at 2 years. I moved bedtime to 6 PM 4 nights a week and 7PM 3 nights a week (preschool nights make everything an hour latter). My hubby didn't get home unitl 5:30 at the earliest. We had to do it otherwise the boys would have suffered and it wasn't fair to them. I had them ready for bed when daddy came in and he read bedtime stories and helped with the bedtime routine. We ate at 5:00 and sometimes even 4:45. I do make them have quiet time in the afternoon but I read to them it isn't on their own which just isn't going to happen.

    And honestly if they are not getting to bed until 9:30 and aren't sleeping in to make up on the lost sleep (with no nap) the time with daddy just isn't quality. I would at least discuss "going out" at night and nix that.. no nap and 9:30 bedtime is a bit much unless they sleep in and still get enough sleep in a 24 hour period. My boys sleep is far too important and no way could they handle a 9:30 bedtime with no nap. Mine are early risers no matter what time they go to bed so they have to go to bed early.

    I also think having a set bedtime nightly is very important for keeping them in a routine and warding off behavior issues. Ours is a bit flexible due to preschool but it is within an hour. If I let them stay up any later they are impossible.

    The boys still at 3 1/2 go to bed 4 nights a week at 6 PM and 3 nights a week at 7 PM. They wake up between 6 AM and 7 AM. People think I'm crazy putting them to bed so early but it is the only way they get enough sleep to ensure they are functional.
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  4. eagleswings216

    eagleswings216 Well-Known Member

    My guys totally gave up naps a month or so ago. Before that, they fought naps off and on for a couple of weeks and would only nap once every few days. On those days with no nap, they were exhausted, not to mention whiny and just plain awful behaviors. During that time, they would go to bed at 7:30pm, and if they didn't nap, they would often sleep in a bit the next morning, until 7:45 or 8am. I tried when I could to let them play outside during the evening times, but honestly, there were days TV saved my sanity.

    Within a few weeks, though, my guys adjusted, and now they aren't tired much at all in the evenings. Now they go to bed around 8pm and get up around 7 or 7:30am. Maybe after a few weeks you will see that with your guys? My kiddos have never been great nappers, though, so it may just be them. I was lucky to get 1.5 hours from a nap even when they were around 15-18 months and they never, ever took a 3 hour nap.

    You could definitely try an earlier bedtime, like others have mentioned, or perhaps adjust their wake up time or start nap time a bit later? Like 2pm?

    As far as "quiet time", my guys are awful at that. They just play, fight, etc. I turn on only one small light and try to get them to play with quiet toys (no sounds or lights) or look at books. Some days I get a 20-30 minute break, but many days, it's not even worth the constant back and forth of trying to keep them "quiet" and I just give up.

    Good luck!! Losing naps definitely stinks.
  5. cheezewhiz24

    cheezewhiz24 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I'm working on quiet time right now as mine are in process for giving up their naps. Here's how it works- one is in his room, tucked in. The other is downstairs with me, laying on the couch, reading books. My rule is simple: You do not have to sleep, but you will lay down and rest. It's now 'rest time'. You can look at books, hold a stuffed animal or take a nap. But I provide the space to do so. My chatterbox is best in his room as he'll talk my ear off but I just respond with "it's rest time now. No talking" and hopefully it'll sink in to the point where I can go in my room and take a nap.
  6. 2xjoy

    2xjoy Well-Known Member

    Firstly, Thank God I'm not the only one who has trouble with 'naps' or 'quiet time'!!!
    My 2 fought their day nap for months before I finally gave in and stopped it. I was (am) still devastated though - it was often the only peace I had in the day to get anything done. Instead, I now make them lie down on little mini fold out sofas and watch a dvd. Not ideal but if I can get them to lie still for at least 1/2 hr, it's better than nothing in my book. Often though it just doesn't happen, or one will get up and annoy the other who otherwise would probably actually sleep. :catfight: And, yes, unfortunately, they are often ratty with each other, and sooky all afternoon because they are tired! No magic solution - I wish!!! :unknw: :unknw: :unknw:

    I also have early risers even if they were to have a late night. Twin B more so! She could go to bed at 10 and still be up at 6am! I have had to work really hard on making sure that they eat early though and have baths, reading and cuddles to get them into bed early enough to make up for no naps and waking early in the morning. Sometimes especially the last few weeks, they've been eating at 4:30-5:00 and in bed at 6:30.
    Yes it is chaotic, and they don't get much time with their older brother and sister or dad and it means that I can't go far in the evenings. For example, I rarely get out on my own to go for a long walk for exercise in the evenings and if we do visit a friends house for a play, I like to make sure we're home by 5ish. It's also hard with their siblings after school activities.

    It is really hard and intense at the moment, but I try and tell myself that it won't be forever?!!! :youcandoit:
  7. Rollergiraffe

    Rollergiraffe Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    My boys don't nap, they destroy everything if they are left in their room for quiet time and they refuse to be separated. I fought this for a long time until I relented and realized that if they sit quietly in front of the tv for an hour in the afternoon Mommy is happy, the boys are content, and I can get something done. What's the harm there? I also try and get them out of the house as much as possible, even just for long walks around our neighborhood to wear them out. And I would definitely set a bedtime and stick to it. You'll feel much saner when you have your evenings to yourself.
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