Discussion in 'General' started by niftywriter, Oct 23, 2009.

  1. niftywriter

    niftywriter Well-Known Member

    Our boys have all been crazy for paintball. DH and I are quite anti-guns (except for hunting or law enforcement, obviously). We didn't encourage or provide guns for play when the children were young. Just couldnt stomach it. When we moved to Ohio, our older boy grew up with neighbours going ape over paintball. Eventually, we figured if we stayed hardline about it, we would only make him want it so much he would become obsessed. So we allowed paintball.

    Now our twins have reached that age, and of course, once you've done it, you haven't a leg to stand on not to do it again---even though these boys are not the same boys their brother was (he doesn't even bother with it anymore---had the bug, played it out, got over it). It's never enough. First playguns, then paintball and then airsoft, We won't buy airsoft, but they play it at friends' houses. :(

    Today, we went to pick up boys at a friend's house. Sent them with all their gear because we knew they'd be out on his back woods playing with his arsenal of airsoft guns. Darn it all, one of our boys decidd he was too cool for protective head gear---and his brother was too caught up in the moment (and probably sibling rivalry, especially as the friends were mainly his brother's and he felt picked on) and voila! A recipe for disaster!

    So, in a volley of gunfire, with two lines of boys running at each other, Cain shoots Abel in the face--and luckily only breaks two teeth instead of putting out an eye or worse.

    This is such a downer. Especially because I knew it was a bad idea, their dad knew it was a bad idea, but still we let pressure get to us, and let ourselves be swayed by all the snide remarks about pacifism and Canucks who think denying guns to kids will be healthy or good.


    Just so you know, we had them bag up the paintball guns and all accessories and put them out in the garbage tonight---and we were straight about it--told them we made a mistake: we have never liked the guns, but we caved to pressure and it was WRONG! THere was a lot of pleading and arguing and a few tears--but we are finally sticking to our guns. :(

    Their dad said, If you want to learn how to shoot to hunt, I will take you and we can do it-you can shoot and kill a bird or whatever, but you will then clean and pluck and cook AND eat that kill. That is what hunting is for. But boy against boy, man against man for sport--not anymore while you are living under our roof.

    Should have taken that stand years ago-- or stuck to it, I should say, and not been swayed out of it.
  2. niftywriter

    niftywriter Well-Known Member

    I should add that the shooting was not deliberate! :crazy: Read that again this morning and thought Yikes! That sounded really bad!

    In the heat of a mock battle, when it's 3 against one and everyone is shouting, I think things can get a little wild. I think even WITH protective gear, accidents can happen.

    Ugh. Anyway, thought I would clarify, not that anyone is reading this thread! LOL

    Mods you can remove if anyone has the time!
  3. rubyturquoise

    rubyturquoise Well-Known Member

    Oh, Renee, oh no! Mine also had a brief paintball fling--encouraged by their dad--but it passed quickly. It helped that I wouldn't buy them any gear. It's pretty expensive and they had other things they preferred to spend their money on. (Their dad is not DH, for anyone who doesn't know that.)

    eta: As for accidents: I lost part of a tooth when a friend was dancing around with an aluminum can in her hand. Hit me juuuust right, and bam, broken tooth.

    I still wish this didn't happen to y'all.
  4. twoplustwo

    twoplustwo Well-Known Member

    Oh no Renee! I think you make a REALLY good point though. I too have succumbed to pressure from others and let my child do things I questioned about.

    I think it's great how honest you were about what happened. I loved this part:
    Oh, and I didn't think it sounded intentional.
    Have you gone to the dentist? What did they say?

    My cousin lost 2 teeth to hockey and you can't even tell. It was very expensive mind you but the repair work is impeccable.
  5. niftywriter

    niftywriter Well-Known Member

    Thanks Ruby and Alison. I appreciate the understanding! Ruby, our first boy was like your boys--did it briefly, got it out of his system. Our younger boys have had fewer opportunities and so the bug has grown and grown. :( They will probably get over it soon, too--but argh! Meanwhile, their dad and I are not underwriting gun games any longer.

    Alison, naturally this happened at 5Pm on a Friday! I will be calling the dentist first thing MOnday morning to get him in ASAP. He doesn't have any pain, except when he chews down on the broken bottom tooth (it is an upper and a lower--I guess he was hit right in the middle of the two--broke the teeth right off about 1/3 way down), so we are having him rinse frequently to keep it clean and comfortable and I'll pull him from school if the dentist can see him early on Monday.

    I know repair work will make it look good again. It will cost a fortune, I'm also sure. :( But even more of a concern to me right now is that he is scheduled to start his braces on November 24. I just don't know what a crown, cap or whatever will mean for his braces.

    Anyway, he was in good spirits today---went with his dad to do some chores all day--and his brother is over the shock, too. He was actually sobbing last night he felt so bad about the accident. I think they are fine with each other over it and there were apologies all round. So hopefully, a lesson has been learned by more than just Scott and me!
  6. nikki_0724

    nikki_0724 Well-Known Member

    I think its sometime so easy to sway from something we say we will never let our children do. They are kids and as we all know from being a kid before we can come up with some pretty good arguments. Its especially hard when their friends or neighbors are big into the sport.

    I think a good lesson was learned all the way around and I too do not think it was done on purpose. I also think you did the right thing by tossing everything out and giving them the option to learn to hunt for food only not as sport.
  7. Donita

    Donita Well-Known Member

    Thankfully paintballs haven't been a big deal for us. Jeff was really the only one who kept asking for one. I told him he couldn't have one because I know he'd shoot me in the butt when I wasn't looking and then I'd have to break his toy and throw it away and all that money would have gone to waste. lol

    That is too bad about his teeth. :( I hope he is still able to get his braces.

    We think alike on the hunting. Our boys get to hunt, but they have to clean it and eat it.
  8. niftywriter

    niftywriter Well-Known Member

  9. twinbears

    twinbears Well-Known Member

    Sorry that happend that really sucks. I feel if you are anti gun or pro gun you should always aways teach your children the safety of guns. It is really easy to blame guns in this situation instead of the fact he wasn't wearing protective gear. BY no means am I saying I think you should let them play paint guns becasue I am not. I am not against guns but I don't get the whole pait gun thing. And I am definatly not trying to start a debate!!!!! I agree with not changing your ways becasue of society but I hope the kids will understand that. They did learn the concequences of their action can suck and I am glad his spirits were up and hope he can see the dentist today.
  10. niftywriter

    niftywriter Well-Known Member

    LOL Don't worry! They all know that this accident was completely caused by stupidity! In no uncertain terms, their father and I have spelled out that all of them share the blame for this---E for being stupid and not wearing his protective gear and all the other boys for continuing to play the game when one or more players was on the field without protective gear. E should have had more sense and the others should have, too.

    We are not anti-gun or pro-gun. Guns have their uses, as I said before, but the way they are used can be smart or foolish. My boys were incredibly foolish on Friday and they know it. They are losing the guns because of their abysmal judgement, not because guns are fundamentally bad.

    However, for my DH and I, we realise that we have been uncomfortable because we think that young fellows with poor judgement and guns is a very bad combination. They were taught about safety---repeatedly--and provided with the proper equipment. It is not a failure of teaching, nor a failure of equipment, nor a problem intrinsic to the guns themselves (there was no misfiring or problem with the guns' safety) it was a problem with judgement. And that is a problem in this agegroup, which is why we were always uneasy, although we couldn't put our finger on it until now. :(
  11. twinbears

    twinbears Well-Known Member

    It is the age group. Which is funny if you think about it becasue years ago it was this age that would go hunting and knew about the safety of guns. This generation the video games and guns and killings changes EVERYTHING. BUt that is an entore diffrent thread :laughing:
  12. tinalb

    tinalb Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    I'm glad you posted this because my son has been asking for an air soft gun & I was debating it for Christmas, mostly because I have NO IDEA what to get him! I am not a fan of guns & really have discouraged any kind of gun play, but a lot of his friends have them & he does enjoy it at their houses. I really never would have guessed it would have broken his teeth! I think Owen's friends only wear goggles to protect their eyes, but nothing for the rest of their face. Your story definitely has made me think twice about wanting to buy him a gun!
  13. Code

    Code Well-Known Member

    Question: Arent they illegal to buy??? I know here you cant own paintball guns unless you own a actual place for it and it cost you $130 for 100 painballs. Never done it, I bruise easy! its funny how its different.
  14. sullivanre

    sullivanre Well-Known Member

    What is airsoft? After reading your post, I'm dying to know.
  15. ChaoticMum

    ChaoticMum Well-Known Member

    That is the stand we have - our whole family is into hunting - but what we hunt, we eat. The boys know that if they pretend something is a gun they'd better darn well be pointing it away from any person and they'd better pretend to eat what they "shoot".

    I and my bro were raised this way - and when my brother was 12 he almost had to eat a crow that he'd killed with a slingshot (my mum cooked it and put it on a plate and stopped him just as he put a bite to his mouth - she didn't want hiim to eat it knowing what crows eat themselves, but she wanted him to sweat quite a bit)

    My boys tend to go bear hunting quite a bit - and we always have lots of venison in the freezer....;)

    I'm glad you are now sticking to your 'guns' and were honest about WHY you've now changed things. Parents make mistakes to - and its good for ourkids to see us as human!!
  16. tinalb

    tinalb Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Airsoft guns are similar to BB guns, but the BB's are made of plastic or rubber. They aren't illegal in the States or Canada as far as I know.
  17. sullivanre

    sullivanre Well-Known Member

    Thanks Tina.
  18. Mama_Kim

    Mama_Kim Well-Known Member

    My kids all went through an Air Soft gun phase. I am not a fan. But we agreed to let them have them with certain stipulations on their use, etc. DH would have target practice with them, that sort of thing. But I really am happy they have moved past that phase. Sean also went through a short-lived paintball phase because one of his friends was really into it. He only went and played a few times though. I'm thankful.

    I'm sorry about the teeth, RenĂ©e. But guns don't have to be involved for something stupid to happen, lol. Brian ran into the brick wall across the street when he was in 4th grade and chipped both his front teeth which are now bonded. He and the neighbor boy were twirling each other around to make each other dizzy and then running with their eyes closed. My genius ran into the wall. [​IMG]
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