Vacation Issues

Discussion in 'The First Year' started by gina_leigh, Jun 11, 2014.

  1. gina_leigh

    gina_leigh Well-Known Member

    I just need to get this off my chest. 
    We are leaving for a massive family vacation in 3 days. We are leaving Saturday, driving half-way, and then will drive the last few hours Sunday. We're going to Gatlinburg with most of my in-laws. There will be 25 people staying in a 10 bedroom "cabin." I'm excited for the most part honestly. 
    But my issue is that everyone is already talking about how excited they are to spend time with the baby. And I get it! Most don't get to see him very often and he's a baby. People always want to snuggle babies. And there are comments about how this person or that person can keep the baby while I go do whatever I want. I appreciate the offer, but he's breastfed. He'll take a bottle (he's had a few, but literally like 6 or 7 at this point) but it's not like I can just be gone all day. 
    I'm frustrated because I keep saying that basically and I feel like it's being completely ignored. One grandparent made the comment that she'd just keep the baby while we're at the water park all day and I explained to her why that isn't going to happen. We're renting a cabana with a fan for that purpose. She is more than welcome to sit with him in the cabana while I'm out with the big kids. But he needs to be close enough that I can come feed him when necessary. 
    They just don't get it. SIL breastfed her two, but she mostly pumped because she also worked full-time. So she typically always had a full day's worth of bottles. (But she also had to pump through out the day to get those.) I do pump, but I'm down to maybe twice a day. And I get maybe 10oz total on a really good day now. I've gotten really relaxed about pumping because we weren't using it. I now have a crazy amount of milk in our big freezer, which I'm glad about, but don't feel the need to pump more than the once or twice a day I do. 
    I'm just frustrated because I'm concerned it's going to end with hurt feelings even though I've explained my reasoning. 
    Thanks for listening. /whine. 
  2. miss_bossy18

    miss_bossy18 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    :hug: That's hard. My first thought is to wear him so no one else can get a chance at him but I do see how that may not be the best solution. ;)

    My second thought was to be very thankful for all the offers of help and then set the terms in the moment. "Thank you so much for offering to watch him! We were planning on going to the water park today - it would be great if you could come with us and snuggle baby on the deck while I play with the bigger kids" And leave it at that. Don't mention breastfeeding being the particular issue, just let it evolve naturally through the day that you pop back to the deck whenever baby needs to eat.
  3. Rollergiraffe

    Rollergiraffe Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    That's hard; the extra hands are nice, but it's frustrating when you finally get in a good bf'ing groove to have all kinds of well meaning people disrupt it. I like Rachel's approach. They eventually have to give him back to you if you just don't have bottles to feed him!
  4. weegus

    weegus Well-Known Member

    Ya know, one of the many things I liked about breast feeding was that I could take my babies away to a quiet place to feed them; to get away from the fuss for a while and connect with them one on one (especially around crowds).  I never felt any guilt about other people not being able to bottle feed or taking the baby away to breast feed (no matter how much guilt some people tried to pile on).  I'd say to leave the pump and bottles at home and erase the issue all together.  It is great that your family wants to help, though! 
    Have a great vacation... sounds like fun :)
    1 person likes this.
  5. gina_leigh

    gina_leigh Well-Known Member

    You know, my in-laws really are awesome. They are very supportive of us and generally have the best intentions. They really just don't realize my issues. They only see giving me a break or trying to help. I feel bad complaining honestly. 
    And yes! I'm so looking forward to being able to go hide out in our room for a little quiet time while feeding him. I'm honestly really glad to have that as a great excuse for some time to recharge. I do think I'll pump one bottle on one of the evenings so Chris and I can have a double date with BIL and SIL. I'll just pump before I go and when I get back to make up for "skipping" the feeding. Though really if I feed him late enough, it might not even be an issue since he sleeps long stretches at night now. (Usually only waking up once a night.) 
    And I do think we'll have fun! 
  6. Katheros

    Katheros Well-Known Member

    My in laws are a lot like this as well, they very much want to help in any way they can.  I've found it's easiest when they start bugging to find something specific for them to do.  You mentioned a double date, ask them to watch the baby specifically for that evening.  Something along those lines.  Kind of in line with what Rachel said as well. 
    I also adopt the line: Baby goes where I go.  I find myself saying that more than I should have to...
  7. cheezewhiz24

    cheezewhiz24 Well-Known Member TS Moderator

    Ahh, Gina. Been there.
    I did not pump for my babies (I did pump for the milk bank only, once a day) so that wasn't an option. Breastmilk is best fresh from the tap, so to speak, so if I could to that, I did. It was that simple.
    My MIL and to a lesser extent parents were the same way. My MIL tried to pressure me quite a bit, but my break was the 2-3 hours between feeds- I'd happily come and feed the baby(ies) and go off and do my thing. It is a break to have 2+ hours off caring for the baby. 
    I'm with the PP who said leave the pump at home and enjoy your vacation. Pumping on vacation to me sounds worse than nursing every once in a while. I'd rather bring a bag of milk for that one night only and then conveniently need to nurse the baby as he is hungry.  :girl_devil:
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