What twins age was the hardest for you and how did you get through it?

A twin mom recently asked our community:

“My twins will be 4months. I’m finding this age to be the hardest. They want to be held all the time. Their father works nights and I’m struggling. Any advice would be appreciated. Could this just be a stage they will get through? What age was the hardest for you?”

Here’s what the TwinStuff Community had to say:

 Buy 2 swings, my boys used to love being held to but I couldn’t on my own hold them always.

- JV

I‘m a new twins mom. They are a little over 2weeks they are 5+6 of children but it’s been 5 yrs that I yearned for a baby and was blessed with 2. They came early and we just came home 4 night now I must be very lucky they eat every 3 hrs and I’m learning their ways – One wants to be held much more. I’m just taking it all in and no more babies for me. I have been crying a lot almost – seems as if I cry more than them. It’s not easy with no family and hubby has to work but God has his plans.

- CT

 4 months was the worst for me. They had a horrible witching hour that lasted from 8pm-12am and my husband also works nights. It was about 2 months of hell at night. I just learned to live with the fact that one of them is going to cry while I tend to the other and that’s okay. There’s two of them and one of you. Do the best you can and do whatever works best for you. Don’t stress about schedules and bed times and feeding. Just listen to your babies and survive the night. Also on very rare occasions when I got completely overwhelmed I would put them in their cribs and walk away and gain my composure back and come back in with a new attitude. And if all else failed I’d call my husband to come home and help.

- JD

 No real advice. It’s hard having two little ones. I slept in the same room and prepped everything I’d need in the night before bed. I slept when they slept and gave myself slack on everything else. It will get easier but it does not feel like it now.

- JC

I spent a lot of time on the floor with them at this age. I also used swings and baby carriers (Bjorn, slings, etc.) to have free hands.

- CD

I use a boppy on my lap for one and hold the other in my arms. So I can sway my legs back and forth making that baby feels held as well. My life became way easier when I stuck to the exact routine each evening. They will become more patient when they know what to expect. Mine are now almost 5 months.

- KV

I had to feed one every two hours she was 4 pounds at birth. My other twin was 6 pounds. And that was every three hours on the dot. My girls are now 15. I had to go use pillows and blankets to hold and feed them both. You are going to cry, skip meals, and a shower is the only freedom you get. See if a family member or a girlfriend could come over a couple times at night. It gets better it goes so fast. I do not know how I did it all.

- LS

I was in the same situation when my twins were infants and it was SO hard! Some things have already been said, like prepping everything the night before and sleeping in the same room. I also let them sleep some in their swings when I was having a rough night. It’s so hard doing it alone. I feel like I didn’t sleep for more than an hour at a time for the first year, but really, it went by so fast. And I kinda miss the nighttime snuggles, now that I have 2 super busy toddlers!!

- MG

Probably won’t get better but it will be different things. I loved the baby stage even though they require more attention. When they get older it’s a lot of attitude lol

- MB

I had help the first year, there was always an extra pair of hands when I was ready for a meltdown. Prep as much as you can and do what you can. Everything else will wait, rest.

- SR

 I have 12 week old twins. One of them , if not both of them is always looking to be cuddled and rocked, or just loved on in general. And the other is always looking to eat or at least use me as a pacifier. It’s rough, but I just remind my self that this time really does go by so quickly, my oldest is almost 6 nd I feel like it just goes by too fast. I take it all in, even on the rough nights and I’m ready give up, I remember this is just a little bump in our breast feeding twin morning adventure. 💕We’re also alone 99% of the time, me and the twins and my oldest. But I wouldn’t trade this or them for anything in the world.

- AB

I was given the advice to enjoy the moment, happiness is a journey, not a destination.  I am glad I was given that advice, I enjoyed every moment, as a single parent to twins it was hard at times, until I remembered this time passes so quickly and I so miss those beautiful first few months moments now! … Sleep when you can, the housework will always still be there when you wake up! 

- OF

My twins will be 7 in December- sometimes I can’t clearly remember what it was like when they were newborns through their first year- and sometimes I have a flashback and it’s clear as day- moms of twins: I am not sure there is a day when we don’t mutter to ourselves… we could have all the help in the world and still feel overwhelmed. There are not so exhausting moments and you will get there! I promise. LOVE the hell out of those babies, but seriously having twins is flipping hard as heck! Even if you don’t feel like it YOU ARE A ROCkSTAR!!! 

- VS

  My twins will be 7 in December- sometimes i can’t clearly remember what it was like when they were newborns through their first year- and sometimes I have a flash back and it’s clear as day- moms of twins: I am not sure there is a day when we don’t mutter to ourselves… we could have all the help in the world and still feel overwhelmed. There are not so exhausting moments and you will get there! I promise. LOVE the hell out of those babies, but seriously having twins is flipping hard as heck! Even if you don’t feel like it YOU ARE A ROCkSTAR!!! 

- BH

Mine will be 4 months in a couple weeks. I feel like it’s been easier the past few weeks bc they aren’t cluster feeding or quite as needy but I’m nervous about the 4 month sleep regression. Not that there’s much to regress. 

- JG

It will get better! Then they’ll be 8 and you’ll enjoy spending alone time w each and getting to know each of them as they are getting to be so different. They’ll get to be very good at sharing- that’s the good news

- KS

Mine are 6 months right now and so far 6 months has been the hardest for me. I’ve got one that is working on getting teeth and the other wants to none stop eat so every 2 hours I get up with her and the other one gets grumpy when she gets woke up so then I end up having to rock her back to sleep and feed the hungry one. Then to top it off my older kids still don’t sleep through the night so I’ve gotta deal with them too.. (3year and 2 year olds) 

- MW

Mine at 12 weeks and I’m struggling. One of my little girls is colicky though which is making life extremely hard. I also have three other kids to run after. 

- KD

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  • Danielle Gilbert says:

    My girls are 8 months old.They are very busy an I’d have to say this is a hard time for me.When they were newborns I always had extra hands on deck. An I teached them sign language so they let me know what they needed. An now they crawl, pull up to stand using anything, fight over toys, and cry then turn around and love on each other.Having Twins + 2 other kids (2yrs& 9yrs) to tend to is no where near a walk in the park.So take time to catch your breath.Give them lots of love.Sleep when they sleep.Remember there’s only one of you. Make feeding and play time so fun that they enjoy it.Cofee time real early in my me time!Self Love is the best.You have super powers!We rock as Twin Moms.Our walk and swag is way different.We keep it all together not many can do that. DMG

  • Lisa says:

    My girls are 15 months now. I remember thinking around 10 months, ok, this is getting fun now. I also have a 3 year old son, so I felt like I was in survival mode the first 3-4 months, and after that, it got easier and easier. The first year with twins is so hard! Hang in there. Lean on any support/help you have, and for those times you don’t have any help, turn on music, put the babies down in their cribs and go to the bathroom alone, get those babies in a stroller and go for a walk, find what helps to give you a renewed perspective. For me even now, it’s music! All 3 kids under 3.5 years old can be screaming while I’m trying to get lunch on the table, and I throw on some music and hum along. It helps the kids and me!

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