The Unexpected Pleasures of Having Twins

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Our twins are the only children that my husband and I have. We do not know what it is like having a singleton. What we do know are of the joys that we have experienced as parents of twins.

The Element of Surprise

During my twin pregnancy, I loved the shocked looks when I would tell random people that I was having twins. Jaws would drop, eyes would get big, and a huge smile would come across a stranger’s face. From behind, you could not tell that I was pregnant with twins. As soon as I turned around, my big belly was there for all to see.

Immediately, people would tell me about someone they knew, or about how they themselves are twins, and the fun that revolved around having twins. The ability to connect with others, on a whole other level, was and still is amazing.

Becoming Well Educated

My husband and I feel as though we have learned more about pregnancy and raising children, compared to having a singleton. We never knew about high-risk appointments and the specialists that you have to see when pregnant with multiples. The many types of twins that can be born, as there are seven to be in fact.

I learned the many options of what can happen during pregnancy for identical versus fraternal twins. What can happen during delivery, after delivery, hospital stays and more. Even though the majority of information that we retained had nothing to do with our situation, it was a great learning lesson for us.

To this day, we are learning about new options for our twins and what will benefit them. Even looking into the future of what to expect for their middle and high school year along with outweighing their options after graduation. Opening a discussion for what they are planning on doing and becoming when they grow older.

Things along that nature have really opened our eyes to the realm of twins, personalities, and behaviors.

Discovering Discounts

We never mind mentioning that we have twins. Many places, along with some companies, offer multiple discounts. Whether it be for car seats or cribs to city sport admissions and passes. As the girls have grown, the discounts went from being labeled as “multiple discounts” to “sibling discounts”.

Nonetheless, it is always a great idea to ask for either discount. This frees up a bit more for your budget, which allows for you to put the money away for savings down the road.

Inclusive Community

As soon as you say that you are a parent of twins, you are automatically upgraded to an inclusive community. You are now seen as being exceptional. People say, “I don’t see how you manage.” All the while I give my highest regards to those who have one baby one after the other.

Our only knowledge is of taking care of two babies at one time. Running around parks and chasing two giggling children in two opposite directions. Being a twin parent is exhausting and rewarding. If we ever feel discouraged, we reach out to other parents and receive a peace of mind that we are not the only ones going through the daily struggles of twinhood.

Similarities / Differences

Our girls are fraternal and are complete opposites of one another. I am an only child, and my husband is the youngest of three. I sometimes have a difficult time understanding the sibling rivalry or the petty arguments and call my husband to confirm that they are not doing anything out of the norm that he and his siblings did. Even though they are siblings, through and through, to see their similarities and differences are amazing! From their looks being unique, to them taking on their own personalities, is just overall amazing to take in as parents.

Healing

When my mom was battling through cancer, I would often bring the girls in for her basic appointments and her face would light up. It wasn’t just her face, but also of other patients and the staff. Going into a place that can be, at times dismal, and our girls would bring in so much happiness.

After my mom passed, our girls provided the extra ray of light that we needed to get through the day. They were eight days away from turning three, and they did not fully understand the heaviness that was taking place. There they were, full of laughter and love to help ease the pain.

They care deeply for one another, and for us. If one is not feeling well, the other steps up and wants to take care of the other. There is an unbreakable bond that they will always have amongst each other. This is what gives us the unexpected pleasure of being a parent of twins.

Jennifer Menendez
 

Jennifer writes for a children's reading app project run by Upwork's Managed Services program, along with writing articles for TwinStuff.com. In 2005, Jennifer met her husband on board a cruise ship. In 2011, after failed pregnancy attempts, they welcomed their twin daughters. The girls have been attending a virtual homeschooling program, to which Jennifer is their learning coach. Jennifer is open about her twin pregnancy, losing her mom to cancer, and other hurdles she and her family have overcome. Follow her on her social media platforms.

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