Parents are curious to know when their twins should stop bathing together because it’s a question that has no scientific answer.
The question is posed because of societal norms and concerns of privacy, but the answer is still important because it leads to more queries about how it will affect their children in the future.
Twins have a unique bond because of their age and biological connection, but when should twins stop bathing together without affecting that bond in a negative way?
Twin Bathing VS Singleton Bathing
For singleton siblings, age is a factor because of the gap and the difference in gender.
For example, moms are wondering at what age should they separate their three year old and six year old during bath time. Others are asking when they should separate the baths of their boys and girls.
For twin siblings, age is only a factor when they are getting too old to take baths together. Parents of fraternal boy and girl twins are also wondering when the separation should start.
Both sets of parents then ask the following questions that stem from their children bathing together:
- Is it still appropriate for the kids to bather together at (X) age?
- What will happen if they continue to take baths until they grow older?
- This other mom said I should separate them from bathing at (X) age. Is she right?
These questions are all subjective, but come from a place of good intention. Children have milestones and bathing alone is one of them. For twins, you may find it a bit more difficult to separate them because of their similar age and possibly stronger bond.
At What Age Should My Twins Stop Bathing Together?
There is no specific answer to this question, but there is a guideline.
According to Debra W. Haffner, M.P.H., F.S.A.M, you can begin to consider the idea of separating your children during bath time when they start to become curious about their bodies. She says this usually starts during the preschool years when children start to ask questions about their environment and themselves.
It is also important to consider whether your children want to stop bathing together. At some point, they will start to learn about wanting their privacy during bath time. They will develop this need once they start to talk to other children and adults about their situations.
How Do I Explain Bath Privacy to My Child?
When they ask you about it, you should take it as a teaching moment and give them a short lesson on why it’s okay to stop bathing with their siblings. You should talk to their other sibling as well, as they may see it as a negative event.
“Why won’t my sister take baths with me anymore? Did I do something?” That’s an easy question to answer, but a hard one to hear. You just have to teach them the same thing, preferably together at the same time so they can engage each other and ask questions together.
What If They Don’t Want Privacy Yet?
Some children who bathe together won’t develop their need for privacy yet, but instead, they will start to ask about their bodies.
This is a time for you to teach them another lesson about being comfortable with your own body and respecting boundaries on someone else’s.
As they grow older and more curious together during bath time, you may want to continue to supervise them until such a time that they want you to stop watching them bathe together. This means that they developed a need for privacy from you.
At this point, it is important that you teach them about the proper way to bathe together and the do’s and don’ts. Unsupervised bath time may lead to children touching each other out of curiosity, which could lead to confusion when they are older.
What If I Want My Twins to Stop Bathing Together?
As a parent, you have the right to raise your twins however you want (provided it’s within the confines of the law) and the right to decide when to set boundaries.
If you want your children to stop bathing together, you cannot do it immediately. You cannot decide one day that they should have separate bath times. You need to do this slowly and informatively so that they do not see it as a negative action against their relationship.
Here is what you can do:
- Set a Milestone
- Decide on an age when you will start to separate your children from bathing together. Choose their age based on what’s comfortable for both you and them. A good time to separate them is when they start school because that is when they will start to develop curiosity and privacy needs.
- Talk to Your Twins About It
- Once you decide when they should bathe separately, bring your twins together and tell them why they will start to have separate bath times. Don’t lie to them and say that it’s a rule because it’s not. Many siblings bathe together until they are older without any negative side effects. Instead, tell them that it is a time for them to learn how to bathe and clean themselves up on their own.
- Be Ready for Some Resistance
- With twins, you can expect that they might not be happy with the situation. Bath time has become a fun and enjoyable moment of the day and you seem like you’re taking it away from them. They want to play together and bathe together, but you’re putting a stop to that. In order to convince them that this is a good thing, tell them that learning to bathe separately will teach them how to become more independent and self-sufficient. Children like being in control of their situations, so if you give them autonomy with how they handle their hygiene, they may accept the situation more easily.
- Don’t Force It If They Don’t Want To
- It may be difficult to accept, but some kids just aren’t ready to be separated yet with their siblings. This usually happens when they are still toddlers and think that bath time is more important than growing up. If that is the case, you can continue to supervise them until a time that they start to develop their privacy needs.
Being a parent means having to make decisions for your children. However, with milestones, it is best to work at it together and not command your kids to do what you want.
If you truly believe that it is time for your twins to have separate bath times, you should talk to them until they feel comfortable with the new arrangement. Do you have any other questions? Ask us and we will do our best to answer.