Bath times should be fun, but they also bring a lot of questions. After all, there’s a lot going on for the both of you. You might have questions, principal amongst them being just how often should you bathe a baby? But by following our handy guide, you’ll soon be a bathroom whiz, and both of you will be looking forward to bathing together!
For moms, especially first-time moms, feeding time can bring a few questions. How much should I feel my baby? How often do they need feeding? Should I worry about overfeeding? Just how much does a newborn eat?
Don’t worry. Once you’ve done it once or twice, you’ll soon fall into the rhythm. But just in case you’ve got any queries, read on to find out everything you need to know.
You should feed your baby whenever they appear to be hungry. This is called feeding on demand, or demand feeding.
Newborns feed every 2-3 hours, on average. Babies who are being fed breast milk might feed a little more often than babies on formula, because breast milk is a little bit easier for a baby’s tummy, so it might digest a little faster and go through them a little quicker.
After a little while, once they’ve grown a touch, they might feed a little bit less often, every 3 or 4 hours.
Don’t ever feel bad about waking your baby for feeding as well, especially if they’re very young. It’s more important to feed so they grow up bigger and stronger. If they’re not putting on the weight you think they should, increase your feeding schedule and make sure that you talk to your doctor about what you can do.
There are lots of things you baby might do to indicate hunger. Every baby is different, but you’ll soon pick up on your little treasure’s particular signals. These might include:
Crying is and should never be the first sign of hunger. It’s a late sign. As we said, you’ll get used to your baby’s particular signs of hunger.
If your baby is crying for hunger, you should feed a little more often, before your baby starts to get upset and cries.
If you’re feeding formula, your first few weeks you should mix around 2 to 3 ounces of formula. You’ll soon get used to what your baby’s particular needs are, but as a general rule:
Just like the signs of hunger, there’s a load of cues you can use to tell when your baby is full and happy. Again, you’ll quickly learn what these are, but they might include:
If you’re worried about your baby being full, nurse until you think you see signs of fullness, then continue nursing for a few minutes, perhaps by switching breasts or gently preferring the bottle after a few seconds.
Obviously, you want to do best by your kids, so considering how and what your baby is eating from an early age is probably on your mind, especially with childhood obesity on the rise.
It is possible to overfeed your baby, so it’s something you should definitely consider.
Firstly, breastfed babies are far less likely to be overfed than bottle-fed babies, according to sources like the AAP (American Association of Paediatrics.)
There are several reasons why this might be true.
First off, you can’t see how much your baby is eating at the breast, but bottle feeding might convince some of us to give them ‘just that last little bit,’ coaxing just a tiny bit more milk than they want each time.
Second, breast milk is slightly easier for a young baby to digest than formula. Formula is still completely safe, but the calories from breast milk are more likely to be absorbed more fully.
Third, some parents might be considering supplementing formula with juice or cereals. This is entirely unnecessary and might actually do more harm than good, so please don’t do it unless recommended by your doctor.
Because newborns are growing up so fast, they burn through calories really quickly. Combine that with a tiny little tum and that means they need to eat every few hours.
That means, yes, even at night you should be waking baby for a feed every few hours like we mentioned earlier.
This will slow down as the months roll on, so by month five or six, you’ll be able to put them down for most of the night, without being woken for a feed.
Remember, even if they’re sleeping, you should wake your baby when it’s time to feed. Better they get grumpy ’cause you woke them early, rather than they get cranky and poorly from not eating enough.
Nursing your newborn can be a handful, especially for first-time moms. But following these steps should make it a whole lot easier, especially when you’re asking yourself just how much does a newborn eat?
If you’re a new or soon to be mother and you’ve got any questions, or if you’re a tried and tested mom who’s seen it all, we’d love to hear your experiences. It’s always great hearing from people who’ve gone through the same things we are, so let us know how your feeding times went in the comments below.
Being a twin mom has been an amazing adventure. It has taught me so much about myself, unconditional love, and life. As a twin parent we must learn how to be a mom, how to multi task, how to answer a lot of questions, and so much more. Being a new mom to one is tough, so being a new mom to multiples requires talent! Here are 5 things only a mother of twins would understand:
Twins are truly amazing. Seeing two people show love in utero and at birth reaching for each other is so beautiful to see. I love how much they care about each other. Twins truly teach love and understanding. I remember seeing my two reach for each other before they were born at just 16 weeks. It is a moment that is forever saved in my heart. Twin Love and the Twin Bond is so amazing.
Most twin mothers hit milestones the first-year. One milestone is learning cryptophasia (a language developed by twins). My twins developed their own words and gestures for their favorite toys, books, and food. After 10 months I was fluent in their Cryptophasia too.
I also learned terms for twins and babies that I never knew existed before I became a twin mom. If you are familiar with these words then you are a mother of twins: singleton, monozygotic, and dizygotic. I never knew a singleton was the word for one baby or that there were more than two types of twins – identicial twins (monozygotic) and fraternal twins (dizygotic). I have now learned about mirror image twins and semi- identicial twins. As well as the different types of fraternal and identicial twins. And now all these terms are common in my vocabulary.
Do twins run in your family? I have been asked this question over a hundred times since my twins were born. Friends, strangers, co-workers, doctors, and pretty much everyone we see asks me this. The funny thing is not one person asked me this question before I had my twins or asked about my family. As a mother of twins we all know and understand why people ask this question. I just wonder why people need to know. At the store a person recently asked if they were natural or IVF. I was completed shocked because it was different from the normal line of questioning, but I answered anyway. Being a mom of twins has taught me how to handle awkward questions and statements.
Twins experience life differently in so many ways. I often forget how many social interactions are different until they remind me. My son came home from his first day at school and said “Mom what do you call a brother that is not a twin?” I told him a sibling and we then talked about being a big brother or little brother.
A week later I went into my son’s school and he started introducing me to his friends. He started by saying “this is my friend Mark. He is a sibling. He has someone bigger at home.” He continued to introduce his friends this way. When I asked him why… he said “that is the polite way to introduce people mom. It is how everyone introduces us. They say your name and then talk about your siblings.”
I thought he was so cute and I love that my son now introduces people this way. It is not how people introduce people, but it is how people introduce twins.
Terrible Twos and Threenagers are common words used for difficult phases. I also think Out and About with 2 should be one as well. Going anywhere is a challenge when twins are little. It is not an easy task. It requires talent! I often feel ninja warrior should have a challenge Grocery Shopping with Twins. Mastering Out and About with 2 it is such a big milestone for twin moms and deserves to be celebrated!
Being a twin mom has been my greatest blessings. I always feel like twin moms can relate to each other. It is like one big group and I am cheering for you.
After having twins, whether it is through vaginal or c-section delivery, you will need to give yourself some time to heal.
Your body just went through a major transformation, and you need to abide by the doctor’s orders.
Giving yourself time to heal and following the doctor’s orders will get you back on track for a speedy recovery.
You will be bleeding a lot after you deliver. This is not the time to try to be fashionable, as you have one of two ways to tackle this. You can either wear the oversized pad with the gauze underwear that is supplied from the hospital. Or, you can use depends to help with the bleeding.
To dispose of these items, you may want to have a separate trash bag. Keep everything sanitary, to prevent possible infections. Bleeding will last around two weeks and comes back in a couple of months when you have your period.
Kegels are your best friend! Do them anytime that you are feeding your babies to strengthen the pelvic floor. Most experience incontinence within the first week, and eventually, it fades away. Some have a lifetime of issues, from the weight of two babies pressing down on the pelvic area.
These two symptoms usually occur before and after delivery. Stool softeners and witch hazel, or tucks, gives you some comfort. The hospital should provide you with a donut for you to sit on, easing the stress and discomfort from all the pushing.
If you deliver via c-section (c/s), you will have less bleeding than a vaginal delivery but will need more weeks to recover. Walking is a challenge for about four days after delivery. Taking a shower, or retrieving water, takes a lot more days than usual. Move slowly and make sure to ask for help. Avoid using the stairs, driving, and lifting more than one baby at a time.
Get your bowels moving once again by walking. Feeling extremely gassy is very normal, and uncomfortable. To help ease the pain, ask your doctor about taking an anti-foaming capsule such as Simethicone. It is a non-harmful gel tablet that collects the gas and aids in the relief efforts.
When you first see your incision, it looks worse than it really is. Give it some time, and never pick at it. The pain subsides as the weeks’ progress. If you were given stitches or staples, they are removed during one of your follow-up appointments at your doctor’s office. Removing the stitches or staples is not as painful as everything that you have already gone through.
If glue was used to seal up your incision, then it eventually dissipates off on its own. Allow for soap and warm water to run over the incision, and ointment can be applied about one week after delivery.
If you tore or had an episiotomy, special care is required to help with the healing process of the perineum. A sitz bath is suggested, which is a plastic tub that is situated on the toilet. Fill the tub with warm water. Or, purchase a sitz tea that is available online. Just like regular tea, you want to steep one of the tea bags into the plastic basin. Sit and soak for no more than ten minutes. If you have stitches, ask the hospital how long you can take a sitz bath.
After you use the bathroom, make sure to have a squirt bottle nearby filled with water. Not only does this prevent you from having to wiping every time but helps in removing any dried blood. The bottles are supplied by the hospital. Feel free to ask for one to have in each of the bathrooms at home.
A popular way to help cool the area down there, regardless of whether you tore or not, is by having a padsicle. You can purchase them online. Or, you can make one at home. Put together overnight pads (preferably ones without wings), witch hazel, aloe vera, and optional lavender oil to feel fresher. Place the ingredients onto the thick pad. Fold the pad and put it into a freezer bag. Do not let them freeze, as you do not want to have frostbite on the top of everything else that is going on. When you are ready to wear it, use it like a regular pad. Sit on a towel, since it will thaw creating a puddle. Perineum pain eventually goes away, but it can take weeks.
The reassuring part is knowing that this all passes with time. You need to take care of yourself and take advantage of those around you to assist you. Do not be afraid to ask, so that you can recover fully and enjoy your time with your new bundles of joy.
As soon as anyone catches wind that you are expecting, let alone twins, you will receive an earful. You quickly learn just how strong you are, when the Mama Bear side of you conquered through the hurdles. Here are a few obstacles that I overcame, as a mom of twins.
Everyone knew that my husband and I were trying to have a baby for quite some time. Twins were an added bonus, after the struggles that we had been through. Yet, when we announced that we were pregnant with twins, there was quite the reaction. Overall, the majority of comments were positive. While others were not as much.
When you first announce that you are expecting twins, prepare for some negativity to come your way. Quite possible from those who are trying to get pregnant or wanting to adopt. If you experience someone who is not overly excited about your great news, it has very little to do with you. Those that send out negative vibes are going through a rough time of their own. The best thing to do is to give yourself some space from that person, and do not take it personally.
I went through it from a friend of mine. She was upset when I told her the news. She and her husband had been trying and were unsuccessful. Later, she and I talked things out and she explained that her negativity had nothing to do with me. It was a reflection of the difficult time that she was experiencing. Handle yourself well and redirect that energy towards caring for yourself and your twins.
On the flip side, there are those that are overwhelmingly excited for you and start acting like they are the ones carrying your babies. They tell you what to wear, what to eat when to sleep, and other ways of handling your pregnancy. They have your best intentions in mind, and most of the time do not realize how they are acting.
Most of the time, they too may be going through something. They respond in an overbearing way and just need to be spoken with. Have a sit-down conversation with them, letting them know how much you value their enthusiasm, but that they need to let you live your life the best that you can for the twins and yourself. If they have a difficult time understanding this, give them more space and time.
I never knew how much of hormones I would lose during and after delivery. Your hormones are excreted through the twins in the form of an odd-color goop that ends up in their diapers. As new parents, my husband and I thought that something was wrong with the girls. We had no idea what it was until a nurse informed us.
I was briefed about hormone changes and the possibility of Post-Partum Depression (PPD). I knew that I may not feel like my former self for a while. I was caught off guard by how much I no longer felt the same. Hormone levels, in mothers of twins, drops twice and fast than a mother of a singleton. Take charge of your mental and physical well-being. If something does not feel right, speak up to your doctor and talk to those closest to you.
If one or both of your twins do need physical therapy (PT), try not to stress. Our Shelby, “baby b”, had torticollis and hip dysplasia. At six months of age, she was in physical therapy three times a week. By eight months, we only had to go in twice a week. By ten months, she was down to only once a week. At one year, she was keeping up with her sister and has had no issues since.
Hurdles like these can be exhausting. Having to squeeze in more appointments is taxing. I really had to focus on taking one thing at a time. This forced me into being more flexible with my baseline schedule.
Having twins allows you to quickly get over feeling squeamish about gross things. After experiencing the first time of holding one of your twins, then feeling the rumble coming from their bottoms, you swiftly become a diapering master. Moving fast to catch any spit-ups or cleaning up after the twins discover non-washable markers.
Twins instill an extra insight into potential challenges that a mom of twins must handle. Needing to look at every possible outcome and have back-ups just in case. All the while remaining calm and flexible. Twins bring out an extra-superhuman power that has been there. As twin moms realize, these self-improvements manifest every day as your twins grow. As they grow, you will too as an amazing mom.
Apart from stating the obvious, twins have changed our family dynamics to be beyond crazy, messy, and amazing!
We were starting to believe that a pregnancy would never happen for us, let alone to expect twins! Having twins has pushed us to our breaking limits and has made us stronger as a whole family.
When we were just a couple, we were known to be a tad bit late to things. (Okay, very late.) I was strict when it came to punctuality, and my husband was always more laid back. Factor kids into the equation and my patience was tested plenty of times.
When we packed up to go anywhere with our newborns, we looked like we were moving in for weeks on end. Multiple bottles, since I was unable to breastfeed, formula, waters, diapers, wipes, and practically the entire baby aisle of a grocery store. One simple diaper bag was not enough unless it was to run a short errand. Even then, it was stretching our time limit until we ran out of supplies.
On occasion, we would spend the night at my in-law’s house. We would make countless trips to and from, to bring in the bags upon bags of supplies just for one overnight stay. It felt like it took us the same amount of time to unload our vehicle, as it did to drive and see them.
As the girls grew older, things tapered off a bit, and we no longer looked like we were tacky tourists. That is, until the potty-training stage. Just when we thought it was safe to discard the bags, we had to pull them back out and fill them with multiple outfits.
A regular outing at the grocery store would turn into a whole day fiasco during the potty-training era. (Word of advice: either go alone or bring a partner for this stage.) We would be walking up and down the aisle when suddenly one would do the infamous potty dance. Either my husband or I would take the one to the restroom, while the other would continue to do the grocery shopping. Within moments, the twin that stayed behind was now doing the potty dance. Twins have taught us that you just have to roll with the punches.
We enjoy keeping things nice, neat and organized. I, foolishly, took pictures of the toys and taped them to the bins of where the toys were to go. I was so proud of myself, for organizing everything. I had the girls sit down with me, on the living room floor, as we went over the pictures matched the toys for the bins they belonged to. Instead, the girls laughed and ripped the pictures off of the bins. So, we worked on a compromise. We no longer cared which bin the toys were placed in, so long as they were in a bin and cleaned up after playtime. This has helped, to an extent, as they have grown older. At seven-years-old, one likes to keep her side of the room nice and neat. While the other claims to know where everything is in a pile of stuffed animals.
The girls are kids and went through some very oddball and gross phases. That is why, for the first seven or eight years of twinhood, hold off on the dream of having pristine furniture. You will drive yourself, and those around you, crazy as you chase them around with a magic eraser and a vacuum. Kids are kids, and messes will happen. The more that you try to go against the mess, the more likely they are to appear. Have supplies on standby and be ready for marks, stains and leftover food particles.
Whatever did we do, before having our twins? That is something that my husband and I have jokingly asked time and time again. Since having twins, we feel like we actually utilize our time. We are now jam-packed with constant schedules and enjoy the time that we have together. A prime example of our twin life was during a gymnastics class for the girls.
Both were almost two years old and were climbing a small wall during the mom-and-me portion. Of course, one climbed one way and the other climbed another way. My husband was at work and I stood behind the girls. One of the parents looked at me and asked what I was going to do. I kindly explained that I am there to do my best and will catch them if they ever fall.
You are setting the rules on how everything will play out. Twins need you to love and support them. Appreciate every chance that you have with them. Focus on those times and enjoy the craziness of it all.
Our twins are the only children that my husband and I have. We do not know what it is like having a singleton. What we do know are of the joys that we have experienced as parents of twins.
During my twin pregnancy, I loved the shocked looks when I would tell random people that I was having twins. Jaws would drop, eyes would get big, and a huge smile would come across a stranger’s face. From behind, you could not tell that I was pregnant with twins. As soon as I turned around, my big belly was there for all to see.
Immediately, people would tell me about someone they knew, or about how they themselves are twins, and the fun that revolved around having twins. The ability to connect with others, on a whole other level, was and still is amazing.
My husband and I feel as though we have learned more about pregnancy and raising children, compared to having a singleton. We never knew about high-risk appointments and the specialists that you have to see when pregnant with multiples. The many types of twins that can be born, as there are seven to be in fact.
I learned the many options of what can happen during pregnancy for identical versus fraternal twins. What can happen during delivery, after delivery, hospital stays and more. Even though the majority of information that we retained had nothing to do with our situation, it was a great learning lesson for us.
To this day, we are learning about new options for our twins and what will benefit them. Even looking into the future of what to expect for their middle and high school year along with outweighing their options after graduation. Opening a discussion for what they are planning on doing and becoming when they grow older.
Things along that nature have really opened our eyes to the realm of twins, personalities, and behaviors.
We never mind mentioning that we have twins. Many places, along with some companies, offer multiple discounts. Whether it be for car seats or cribs to city sport admissions and passes. As the girls have grown, the discounts went from being labeled as “multiple discounts” to “sibling discounts”.
Nonetheless, it is always a great idea to ask for either discount. This frees up a bit more for your budget, which allows for you to put the money away for savings down the road.
As soon as you say that you are a parent of twins, you are automatically upgraded to an inclusive community. You are now seen as being exceptional. People say, “I don’t see how you manage.” All the while I give my highest regards to those who have one baby one after the other.
Our only knowledge is of taking care of two babies at one time. Running around parks and chasing two giggling children in two opposite directions. Being a twin parent is exhausting and rewarding. If we ever feel discouraged, we reach out to other parents and receive a peace of mind that we are not the only ones going through the daily struggles of twinhood.
Our girls are fraternal and are complete opposites of one another. I am an only child, and my husband is the youngest of three. I sometimes have a difficult time understanding the sibling rivalry or the petty arguments and call my husband to confirm that they are not doing anything out of the norm that he and his siblings did. Even though they are siblings, through and through, to see their similarities and differences are amazing! From their looks being unique, to them taking on their own personalities, is just overall amazing to take in as parents.
When my mom was battling through cancer, I would often bring the girls in for her basic appointments and her face would light up. It wasn’t just her face, but also of other patients and the staff. Going into a place that can be, at times dismal, and our girls would bring in so much happiness.
After my mom passed, our girls provided the extra ray of light that we needed to get through the day. They were eight days away from turning three, and they did not fully understand the heaviness that was taking place. There they were, full of laughter and love to help ease the pain.
They care deeply for one another, and for us. If one is not feeling well, the other steps up and wants to take care of the other. There is an unbreakable bond that they will always have amongst each other. This is what gives us the unexpected pleasure of being a parent of twins.
During my third trimester, my appointments increased and I visited the hospital once a month. The high-risk doctors felt that I needed to go in and have a check-up and were concerned about my size and the girls arriving earlier than scheduled. It would come to the point where every visit included the common question of, “what is your twin birth plan?” I would respond, “to get them out.”
A birth plan is an outline of how you want to deliver your twins. Nothing is permanent, as the plan needs to be flexible. Keep it to a minimum, with the understanding that it may not go exactly as you intend.
Include your doctor’s name, the location of where you want to deliver, and the person that you want to have in the room with you. The doctor will be in the room, along with a team for each baby. If you are wanting another person to be in the room with you, there may not be enough room. Ask your doctor, so you may plan accordingly.
Think of what you would like to do that day. Do you prefer to walk around, sit or lay down? How bright do you want the room to be? Will there be pictures or videos taken? Do you want to play music?
Medication should be discussed with your doctor, so your doctor knows your preference on whether you want an epidural or not. Massages are an option, too. Or, if you prefer no medication. Find out details of a c-section as this is quite common when delivering multiples.
Plan out your preference for the aftercare will be addressed. Do you plan on breastfeeding? Bottle feeding? Or, both? Is it okay for the staff to give your newborns a pacifier?
I had my doctors name and number programmed into my cell. I knew which floor of the hospital that labor and delivery were on. I had a handful of friends and extended family that had recently given birth to singletons. Their birthing plans did not go their way, which made me a bit more carefree with mine.
Everything from the women outlining a natural and medicine free birthing plan, to delivering early and having to have a c-section. I jokingly said that at 26 weeks, the girls were going to receive an eviction notice. I wanted to sign-up for a c-section, but I was athletic and remained in shape through walking and yoga. My doctor felt that if I delivered close to my due date, then a c-section would be less likely.
That 26-week mark came and went, all the way up to week 38. I woke up to use the bathroom, then I felt a ‘glug, glug, gush’ and that was when my water broke. My poor husband was working the graveyard shift and was showering when it all happened. He started rushing around and I was the one to go downstairs to fix myself a breakfast.
I called my mom and my grandma, who rushed over to the hospital. We met them there, while I was chatting away. I was so excited to finally meet the girls. I remained active on my social media accounts and posting about the big day. My doctor arrived and 10 hours after my water broke, I was ready to push. Here was the kicker, which I knew that it was coming, was that I would not have the cute and cozy delivery room to have the girls in. I was wheeled into the operating room (OR), transferred onto an operating table, and began pushing. This was the only time that I felt scared.
The medical team for “baby a” was in the OR, and my doctor had the heart monitors on my belly. Every time I pushed, my husband and I could see the girls moving. When “baby a” was coming out, she created a vortex effect that pulled “baby b” down and the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck. The medical team for “baby a”/Charlotte quickly left with her, and the team for “baby b” stepped in.
The monitor was turned away from me at this point and my husband knew that something was wrong. My doctor had to perform an episiotomy, and use the clamps, to get “baby b”/Shelby out. As soon as she was out, my doctor had to quickly resuscitate her, and she has been fine since then.
It took me eleven hours, from the time that my water broke until Shelby arrived. Having a more carefree attitude towards a twin birthing plan helped to calm my anxiety. The most important thing, on the day of your delivery, if the safety of you and your twins.
Before the hospital released me, with our newborn twins, the nurses spoke with my husband and I about Postpartum Depression after twins (PPD). I remember thinking why they would even mention this to me. We tried for so long, and went through so much, to have these babies. Why would I ever be depressed?
Within a week, I had gone through many emotions. Let alone being exhausted, uncomfortable, and getting into a new routine with our daughters being home.
Working out was an outlet of mine. Four days after delivering the girls, I went on a walk/run. It was challenging, especially pushing a tandem stroller for twins that was not equipped for jogging.
Yet, I felt like it was a small victory for me but that feeling quickly faded. This was a pivotal moment for me, as I immediately felt like I lost all sense of myself.
I would become extremely upset about dumb things, but those “things” were important to me at that time. (How dare the grocery store not carry the cherry yogurt that I so craved?!? Grrr!)
I felt like my family all knew that they could take better care of the girls than I could. Everyone seemed to be quick at getting their bottles ready, changing their diapers, and bathing them.
A sloth had more pep than I did. It just broke my heart, and I would retreat into an empty room and cry.
My doctor talked to me about PPD, at a follow-up appointment. I explained to him that, growing up, there was a family member who told me that anything to do with depression/anxiety was made up and I just needed to be happy all of the time. Regardless of how I honestly felt.
Tears streamed down my face, as he told me that being depressed/ anxious is a chemical imbalance. Especially after having multiples, because the hormone levels drop tremendously quick. With such a sudden decrease, it can take a mom of multiples longer to get back to where she was prior to the delivery.
As soon as I came home, I explained this all to my family. My husband, mom, and grandma all knew that I was going through more than we all expected. When I opened up to them, it turned out that my mom and grandma all went through this too.
Unfortunately, my mom was unable to talk about it because of the environment that we lived in when I was growing up. My mom had shut that portion down, believing that those feelings were truly made up. She told me that there were times where she felt overwhelmed and would cry at random. She had her parents to talk to, but was afraid, in case the other family member found out.
My grandma felt bad because she recalled how she felt, which was the same way as my mom, and I did. Back in the 1950’s, it was not socially acceptable to discuss such feelings. She just chalked it up to being a new stay at home mom and wife.
My doctor gave me a prescription for an anti-depressant, and a therapist on standby if I needed one. Over time, I began to feel better and was weaned off the medication. I had my understanding husband, mom, and grandma around me to get through those challenging days.
The more that I talk about PPD, depression, and anxiety; the more that I find out how common it is. As I have grown older, I am more of an open book, and not afraid to share my experiences.
If someone gives me an odd look, after talking to them, so be it. Perhaps they, too, are going through a similar experience and are not ready to accept it. Or, they do not understand because (thankfully) they did not have any of those trials.
Keep in mind, not everyone goes through PPD. This is something that you must discuss with your doctor. Do not be afraid to talk to other female family members. Speak with your partner and keep everyone that is close to you in on how you are feeling.
You may not see, or feel, some of the changes taking place. Those around you will be able to, though. There is nothing wrong with that. It’s a good thing because it means that they love you!
The support that you have around you, especially after delivering your twin babies, is there to help and not to hinder. Accept their offers to watch the babies for you while you sleep, run some errands, take a shower, or whatever that you want to do for yourself. Take some time to focus in on yourself. If you do not take care of yourself, how can you care for others?
Twins are so fascinating and being a twin comes with so many benefits, but it also comes with a couple challenges.
Being a twin means you might be compared more to your twin than a singleton would be compared to another sibling. As a mother to identical twins, I have noticed that people tend to compare them a lot to each other.
They constantly look for differences in appearance and personality.
I try my best to encourage individuality in our home by encouraging my twins to dress themselves. They have picked out a majority of their clothing. In our house clothing is something we usually do not share. It lets them have something that is always their own. They can share when they want to, but they do not have too. Although they do have a lot of the same shirts, pants, and hats.
Helping twins develop their own identity will help them develop their language and social skills as well. It also helps them be less competitive.
Clothing says a lot about a person’s personality. You can dress up, dress down, wear bright colors, or your favorite cartoon characters. Your outfit is a way to show people what you like and express your personality.
Dressing differently helps children express their individuality. Clothes matter because they are a noticeable representation of identity. Many psychologists recommend letting twins pick their own clothes once they are able too. It can also be a safety measure.
It can be hard for friends and even family members to tell your twins apart sometimes when they are dressed alike (especially if they are identical twins). Sharing ways to identify your twins can help people identify them and encourage individuality for your twins. Some ideas are:
It is important for twins to see themselves as two unique individuals rather than a unit or the twins.
It can also be a safety measure too. Imagine you are at a family party and one of your twins reaches up for the hot stove. If your family member or other surrounding adults cannot yell their name to get their attention an accident could happen.
Not sharing tools to help identify your twins can also lead people to struggle to think of their own. Several twin parents and even I have had people that use things like: he/she is the bigger one, the happier one, the more athletic one… and those identification practices can be hurtful to twins as they get older.
Dressing your twins differently can help with doctor appointments. Doctors often recommend dressing twins differently when they are going to the doctor or the hospital. It is easier to keep track of medicine doses (and who needs it) when clothes are different.
I am not recommending that you do not dress your twins alike. I think it is really cute when twins wear matching clothes. My twins love to match and it is not uncommon for them to ask to wear matching outfits. I actually prefer to dress them alike when we are going to a crowded area.
Matching outfits is a great way to provide extra security. It is easier to see both twins when they are wearing the same outfit. It provides a visual reference (making them easier to spot in a crowd). I often dress my two alike when we are going to a park, museum, mall, or any other crowded place. It is important to do what works best for you and your twins. I think it is great to do both (matching and non-matching).
Dressing twins is so much fun. Whether you dress your twins alike, coordinating, or totally different – both ways have their benefits.
I am hoping that this list will make picking outfits a little easier for you the next time you have somewhere to go. Being a twin parent is hard and exhausting at times. If you see me out at the grocery store and one of my twins is in his pajamas. Please remember that he picked out his own outfit and is creating his identity. LOL. No judging, please.
“Super cute onesies for my boy/girl twins!! Gender neutral. Super soft material. Great product!!¨
Andrea,
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